Monday, June 16, 2014

Musings of a seminary wife: Finding Community during Transitional Seasons

When we moved to seminary, I was so excited to be entering into what I thought would be a more "settled" season, that would feel like a "semi-long-term" move. We'd just graduated from college and had said many good-byes in the past year. Little did we know that we would be entering into a season of even more transition than before.



We live in a little culdesac of seminary families, and it is a tremendous blessing. But what they don't tell you about is the constant cycle of families moving, leaving, coming, and going. You get used to their car being parked in a certain spot, waving at them as you both let your dogs out at 6:45 in the morning, clad in pajamas and slippers. You grow accustomed to their kids running past your door, or asking if they can "help" you in the garden. You take for granted that you can just walk up the road to ask them a question, borrow some flour, or have dinner.



I have worked 3 jobs since coming here (can someone say transition?!). I have met people at each workplace who I grew to enjoy. They were a constant face everyday, and I found security in that. Until I was called away to a different job and had to start over.



There are a lot of people that we come into contact with- seminary folks, seminary neighbors, church members, co-workers. It just takes time to establish a stable group of friends. And we only have 3 years left here. I wonder to myself often, can we build a community of people in that time? Is it worth it to grow attached to people when we know they may graduate in a year, transfer to a different job? Is it worth it to offer myself when I know that we won't be here permanently?



The answer is yes. Because permanence is subjective. Feeling "settled" and "rooted" isn't something that God promised us when we said yes to ministry. We may be placed in college ministry where students come and go every semester. We may work within a church where our friends decide they must go elsewhere. It will hurt, our hearts will ache. My eyes sting with tears now just writing this. Life is raw, friends, and it just doesn't seem to get easier. Having a permanent home after this life, though, is an affirmative promise of YES and AMEN. I cling to that hope, the hope that there will be a bigger community of Believers in Heaven than I can even fathom. More bonfires, worship sessions, chats over coffee than I imagine. More feelings of permanence, acceptance, contentment, and peace than my heart can measure.



But in pondering these things, I have been immensely encouraged by the realization that I have learned a little something from every person that has left. I have the lessons and friendships from college to demonstrate this. But we have learned so much from the families that we barely knew here at seminary who have graduated. It is beautiful, really. I have grown in the Lord just from observing some of the families I barely knew. It has shaped my visions of how I want to parent, things to work towards as a wife.



I started blogging as an effort to support other seminary wives, or women who may be planning to go into ministry with their spouse. So, today, if you are wondering if building community is worth it, I urge you yes. It is worth it. It is worth it to spend your few years here surrounded by friends than alone. It is worth it to be learning valuable lessons from others that you can take with you into ministry.



And for those who may be peacefully settled, thank the Lord for your community. And pray for your pastor's wives, pray for friends who may be in seminary. We covet your prayers and support.

Blessings!

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