In plenty and in want

We are inundated these days with blogs, books, and documentaries about GMO's, organic choices, plant-based diets and more.

One of my heart's desires is to feed my family well. This may not mean that we eat what tastes good- but we eat what is good for our bodies. Spencer has slowly become accustomed to the taste of whole grains, and hopefully as I introduce more new foods that transition will continue. I try to limit our consumption of foods from a box or package, as the chemicals and unknown contents are not something I want us eating!

During this mini summer break, I've been perusing whole-food/natural/organic blogs. It's been fun, and I'm getting excited to have our own kitchen and start on a fresh summer menu full of greens and produce.

But here's where I've been getting stuck. I know in my heart and mind that striving for good health and a balanced diet is a Godly mission. He called us to care for our bodies, because they are a temple of the Lord! (1 Corinthians 6:19). In giving them proper nutrition, exercise, and rest, we are energizing and preparing them for years of productive service to the Kingdom, amen! But I also know that children die every day from malnutrition. And I know that there are millions of people who would walk miles just for a package of sodium-laden, preservative-filled, sugar-packed food. And they would think it to be a feast.

Within this world of human beings, there are many in plenty and in want. Luke 12:48 says that, '...to whom much has been given, much will be demanded. And from whom much has been entrusted, much more will be asked." Those of us who live in plenty make choices everyday as we swipe our cards and hand over dollar bills (myself included!).

In talking with a friend about this issue last night she reminded me that poverty is not a form of righteousness. Nor is it a punishment from God. Granted, these 2 statements could open up a can of worms. But that is not my intention.

Proverbs 31 says that a noble wife will work with determination to feed her family (v. 15). Only 5 verses later, it says that the noble wife extends her hands to the needy. Is this contradictory? I think not.

And so this is where I choose to rest. In the knowledge that the Lord provided the plants of the field and the animals of the flock for our consumption- as strength for our bodies. He has instructed us to put into our bodies what is wholesome and good, that they might be strengthened for the work of the kingdom. He has given us freedom of choice- we may eat as we choose, but not without consequence. And we are to give to the poor.

So as a wife and Lord willing, a mother someday, I want to nourish my family with food that is wholesome and healthy. But not only that, I want to feed their hearts with grace and truth that the health of their souls might match that of their body. It is only by the grace of God that we know what good health is, and that we live in a place where we even have a choice of what to eat.

This truth-searching on food has given me a new and beautiful perspective that I hope to maintain in my own heart and pass on to the hearts of my family- that every meal is a blessing from the Lord, and that we ought to hold it with open hands and an open door that others might partake...

---hospitality post coming soon!---

The life ladder.

I have realized recently that life is a little bit like a ladder. Every new chapter, season, or milestone is a new rung. We've climbed a lot of rungs recently. 

Marriage, Graduation, moving to St. Louis, Spencer going to seminary and me getting a job, purchasing a second car.....

Asking hard questions...When do we have kids? Do we adopt first? What is the Lord's plan for birth control? 

How do we use our money? How much do we save? How do we live IN this world but not OF it? Are we called to the mission field? 

And the list goes on. 

But back to the ladder analogy. Each rung takes you a bit higher on the ladder. Stepping up can feel rather exciting! But looking down can be scary. You realize how much responsibility you have, how risky the next step might be. 

And when we take these steps up the ladder, whether it be marriage, a job, kids, ministry decisions, or even just making changes in your life, we can do 2 things. 

We can rest, knowing that the Lord is holding us so that we will not fall. This means climbing the next rung with confidence and hope, no matter how scary, radical, or uncomfortable it may be. 

OR, we can hold on for dear life. We can grip our toes on the step, wrap our fingers around the edge until our knuckles are white, purchase bungie cords in case we slip, and build a net in case the bungie cord fails. 

This has been me. I hold onto the ladder and attempt to use the things of this world to secure me- mainly money and plans. 

Here is an excerpt from my journal the other day:

"Father, you say to be in the world and not of it. That is so much easier said than done. Do I really honestly want your plan for me? I know that I often don't. I want both, God! I want a comfortable home and children, money to adopt and provide for them. So many of my fears lacks Eternal Significance. It all does. And in the end, I know I would be ashamed of my petty worries, hurts, fears, and insecurities. But they are very real, very blinding, and very misleading. They keep me from having a kingdom perspective, they pull my husband's dreams to the ground, they make me material-minded, and they make my counterfeit gods bigger than you. Father, would you reign in me, please. Put your God-blinders on and whisper gently when I stray. So prone to wander am I."

Our pastor taught on Hebrews 13 this morning and I was so encouraged:

 Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. ² Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.³ Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.

⁴ Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. ⁵ Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,

“Never will I leave you;
    never will I forsake you.”^[a]

⁶ So we say with confidence,

“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
    What can mere mortals do to me?”^[b

When the Lord promises to Joshua, and here in Hebrews, "I will never leave you or forsake you," the Greek actually has 5 negatives. So it is: I will never oh never no never forsake you. 

What a beautiful, solid, hopeful promise. The idea of God taking us to a place of challenge and struggle is enough to make me stay on this rung of the ladder.

But when I look down at all the promises of God that I am standing on, I know that I can let go and let Him carry us up the ladder, whether it be to Africa, to a trailer park, to children who will require our support for the rest of their lives. 

I don't know what He has for us, and we may never know the answers to these hard questions. But I know that He is faithful, and that He has promised never to leave us. 

For the One who called you is FAITHFUL.

Yesterday's reading in The Indwelling Life of Christ fit perfectly with this season of life:

"He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24
Now if God has called you, and if God Himself will accomplish what He has called you to, what could possibly be illogical about anything to which He calls you? 

"It is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure." Philippians 2:13
If God has willed it, and if God Himself is going to work in you to bring about what He wills, what could possibly be illogical about any part of His will for your life? 

Well...when you put it that way, I don't know! But in the moment, I have so. much. trouble. trusting God.

I started learning Spanish with Rosetta Stone in 3rd grade, and began actual Spanish classes in 5th grade. That was 11 years ago. Today, I sat in my last Spanish class ever, and I thought to myself, "You called me to it, and You did it, God!"

And before I start sounding like the obedient child who willingly follows her Father's call, let me tell you that I followed His call to get my Spanish major kicking and screaming. And crying. It has been the most discouraging process and one of great warfare with the Enemy. I have had Spanish professors tell me to my face that I was not good enough for a class, that missionaries have terrible Spanish, that I shouldn't be in this major. My love for Spanish grew out of my love for Guatemala, the Hispanic people, and my heart for the orphan. And even now, so far, this major has only caused unnecessary stress and limited my future job options. But that is in man-logic.

God-logic shows me that through this major, He taught me more than I ever dreamed about my identity in Christ, my victory in Him and not my grades, and His faithfulness to provide everything I need to do what He called me to. Though there are no immediate rewards for finishing 11 years of Spanish, that is not the mind of our God. God says that He called me to persevere through this major, and that He would demonstrate His faithfulness by carrying it through to completion.

Our God works beyond man-logic, into divine-logic.
Our God has plans far beyond our carnal dreams of money and success.
Our God is after our hearts.

What is the Lord calling you to today? Are you submitting to His will and following, trusting that He will provide for your every step?

Or are you arguing and complaining- showing him your Excel sheets and pro/con lists in an attempt to prove the absurdity of His call?

I encourage you to rest in His promises today, for whatever thing He has called you to. For the One who called you is faithful, and He will do it.

The Heart of a Mother

So I was watching a show the other day (Call the Midwife), and the story was about a young teenager who got pregnant through prostitution and lived in a Catholic Women's home during her pregnancy. After the birth, they took her baby away and gave her (the baby) up for adoption (the story is set in 1950's Britain). Months later, having nearly lost her mind from the distress of being separated from her newborn, she tries to track down the adoptive couple to take her baby back. Meanwhile, the adoptive mother is completely distraught from losing her newly adopted baby. The ending scene shows the midwife coaxing this young mother to return her baby to the adoptive family- where she is loved and cared for better than this girl is capable of. As the midwife walks out with the baby in her arms, it shows the adoptive couple with tears of joy as they are reunited with their daughter, and the young mother standing in the corner of the alleyway, shoulder shaking as she loses her daughter once more.

There are many beautiful parts of the adoption journey. A child is given a home with a loving family. Parents' arms are filled with a bundle of joy. 

But there are also the dark and painful parts of adoption. The part that leaves a birth mother with empty arms and an aching heart. There are very few instances in which this is not the case. Even mothers who voluntarily give up their baby will feel the awful ache of loss deep inside, even if it is subconscious and denied.

But as I sat thinking about this, I had a beautiful thought. In God's adoption of us as sons and daughters of His kingdom- there is NO painful loss!! There is only joyful gain of eternal inheritance and a Heavenly family.
He lifts us out of our pit into glorious victory in Christ. He takes our grief, our insecurities, our trauma and brings beautiful things out of it.

This fills me with hope. That there is adoption that doesn't involve the breaking of a heart for the sake of another. That the birth moms of our babies may experience a spiritual adoption in which their hearts are healed from sorrow of their own loss.

Thanking God today for grace and mercy that allows me and you to be His children.

A Sweet Sight to See

I walked into our bedroom the other day to check in on Spencer's progress on homework, and this is what he was looking at on his laptop:

"What are you doing?!!"
"I am just looking. Don't get too excited."
"I know! But you're looking at adoption stuff!!!"
"Yep."

So we spent the next few minutes looking at country guidelines and dreaming of our future multi-cultural family.

It was one of those moments where my heart just swelled with pride and love. I am not sure that I have ever loved him more, or been more in awe at the fact that I got to marry him. The Lord did not need to give me a spouse who has a heart for the orphan or wants to adopt. But He did.

I prayed for a husband who would pursue this calling with me and the Lord answered that prayer. How great is our God!