The life ladder.

I have realized recently that life is a little bit like a ladder. Every new chapter, season, or milestone is a new rung. We've climbed a lot of rungs recently. 

Marriage, Graduation, moving to St. Louis, Spencer going to seminary and me getting a job, purchasing a second car.....

Asking hard questions...When do we have kids? Do we adopt first? What is the Lord's plan for birth control? 

How do we use our money? How much do we save? How do we live IN this world but not OF it? Are we called to the mission field? 

And the list goes on. 

But back to the ladder analogy. Each rung takes you a bit higher on the ladder. Stepping up can feel rather exciting! But looking down can be scary. You realize how much responsibility you have, how risky the next step might be. 

And when we take these steps up the ladder, whether it be marriage, a job, kids, ministry decisions, or even just making changes in your life, we can do 2 things. 

We can rest, knowing that the Lord is holding us so that we will not fall. This means climbing the next rung with confidence and hope, no matter how scary, radical, or uncomfortable it may be. 

OR, we can hold on for dear life. We can grip our toes on the step, wrap our fingers around the edge until our knuckles are white, purchase bungie cords in case we slip, and build a net in case the bungie cord fails. 

This has been me. I hold onto the ladder and attempt to use the things of this world to secure me- mainly money and plans. 

Here is an excerpt from my journal the other day:

"Father, you say to be in the world and not of it. That is so much easier said than done. Do I really honestly want your plan for me? I know that I often don't. I want both, God! I want a comfortable home and children, money to adopt and provide for them. So many of my fears lacks Eternal Significance. It all does. And in the end, I know I would be ashamed of my petty worries, hurts, fears, and insecurities. But they are very real, very blinding, and very misleading. They keep me from having a kingdom perspective, they pull my husband's dreams to the ground, they make me material-minded, and they make my counterfeit gods bigger than you. Father, would you reign in me, please. Put your God-blinders on and whisper gently when I stray. So prone to wander am I."

Our pastor taught on Hebrews 13 this morning and I was so encouraged:

 Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. ² Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.³ Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.

⁴ Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. ⁵ Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,

“Never will I leave you;
    never will I forsake you.”^[a]

⁶ So we say with confidence,

“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
    What can mere mortals do to me?”^[b

When the Lord promises to Joshua, and here in Hebrews, "I will never leave you or forsake you," the Greek actually has 5 negatives. So it is: I will never oh never no never forsake you. 

What a beautiful, solid, hopeful promise. The idea of God taking us to a place of challenge and struggle is enough to make me stay on this rung of the ladder.

But when I look down at all the promises of God that I am standing on, I know that I can let go and let Him carry us up the ladder, whether it be to Africa, to a trailer park, to children who will require our support for the rest of their lives. 

I don't know what He has for us, and we may never know the answers to these hard questions. But I know that He is faithful, and that He has promised never to leave us.