Showing Grace

I think that in life there are seasons of showing grace. Sometimes, there are some really tough people who seem to constantly hurt and disappoint- this calls for buckets of grace to be poured on them. Other times, we need grace extended to us. This is the season in which I am living right now. 

Moving has just put me completely out-of-sorts. Because we are sub-leasing, none of our things are in this house. Our clothes are in someone else's drawers, we cook in someone else's kitchen, we sit on someone else's couch. Don't get me wrong- we are so very thankful to have a lovely place to stay in while we're in the transition period. But it doesn't feel like home, and that has been really hard for me. I have had to constantly remind myself that this earth is not my home anyways- that my Rest goes with me and never leaves. 

Being in a new neighborhood has thrown my exercise schedule out of whack. I don't know the streets, when it's safe to run by myself, or where to go. 

My fear and timidity of new people makes going to a new church exhausting and stretching. We're going to love our new church, but making friends is a process. 

I want this blog to be real and not me with a mask on- so this is real life for me right now! 

But the important thing is what can God show me in this? What can we as Christians, as humans, as wives learn from seasons of transition, of instability? 

For me, it has been that I must extend grace to myself. Otherwise, I end up beating myself up for not getting up earlier to go running, not meeting one more person at church, not being faithful in corresponding with friends, etc. We could make a list a mile long of all the things that we dropped the ball on. Sometimes it's a good thing when the Lord shows us our sin and insecurities. It is a part of our sanctification. But other times, it is an opportunity to embrace the grace that was given to us. 

How freeing it is to pray, "Lord, I am failing! I am getting bogged down by discouragement and insecurity. I am overwhelmed by all the new-ness of my life and am tempted to crawl into my shell of isolation. I am so far from perfect, but You have promised to help me in my weakness. You have promised to fill the voids when I fall short. You have promised to redeem what the locusts have eaten, what my sin broke you will make new. You restore and redeem. So equip me, Lord, to go out in knowledge of Your grace and Your strength in me."

And when we embrace this grace, we can move out our inward-focus to look out. I know that I'm not going to get it right. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. But I do know that I get to start with a clean slate. Because of Christ in me, I can rejoice claim victory over my imperfections. Because I no longer have to focus on my short-comings and failures, I can focus on being grace-giving to others, that they might know the healing power of grace and redemption in Christ.