Musings of a Seminary Wife: Counting the Cost

One of the hardest things to face since coming to seminary has been the reality that it is very hard to raise a family during seminary. Many, many people do it, but their marriages and families suffer because of the financial burden and time restraints of being in seminary. Is it worth it? They all say absolutely yes.

It is sad to me. So many wives whose heart's desire it is to bear children and raise them up in the admonition of the Lord. Yet there must be food on the table and a roof over our heads, and money to pay for tuition. And oftentimes, this must fall on the wife. It is a lot of pressure. It is  hard to be responsible for providing income for your family, and it is really hard to put aside dreams of having a baby until after seminary.

I was talking with another couple last week who said something that really rang true to me. He said (in reference to deciding whether or not to wait to start a family during seminary) that, "You have to count the cost every single day, with huge measures of God's grace." It is a constant tension between our God-given call to be in seminary and our God-given call to bear children. Both good things, but maybe not at the same time.

We do not know where we're going to land on this topic, and everyone seems to have a different approach. We're both still very young, but nevertheless, I have dreamed of being a mom for 21 years, and the desire has not grown any less. It's what women were made for, and our hearts are just tugged towards nurturing.

I have told the Lord that our family is His. I know that to him, a thousand years is as a day, and so if He calls us to wait for several years, it is merely an hour in His plan- and our chief desire is to honor Him and further His kingdom.

We have to count the cost everyday. And the beautiful thing is, His grace will always more than overflow. Never will we rise in them morning and be found short of grace and mercy to step forth in surrender. So I rest in that. As hard as it is, I rest in that. And I know that my identity and joy will only be made complete in Him, not in a baby, an adoption, or having a family. He is and always will be my chief love, and He will do great things in and through my marriage besides raising up children.